Midlife Intimacy & Relationship Coach For Men

Real talk about intimacy, relationships, and confidence after 50.

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New Course for Men → Men Meet Menopause • 20% Off Through March 31 — Code MMPLAUNCH20

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Men: Confused by Menopause?

Mood swings. Low libido. Sleep problems. Painful sex.

Most men were never taught what menopause actually does to relationships or intimacy.

Men Meet Menopause explains what’s happening and what actually helps.

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Understand Menopause →

Designed specifically for men. No lectures. No blame.

Women: this might be the easiest way to explain menopause to your partner.

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You don't have to keep carrying this alone.

Let’s Talk About What Changed.

You’re a man in midlife who cares deeply about connection. But somewhere along the way, things started to feel different. Maybe the relationship that once felt easy now feels tense, distant, or confusing. Maybe sex has become less frequent, more complicated, or filled with unspoken resentment and rejection. Maybe you’re divorced and dating again, realizing nobody ever taught you how to navigate intimacy, communication, or vulnerability at this stage of life.

Most men were never taught how to talk about desire, emotional connection, changing bodies, or what happens to relationships over time. So instead, a lot of men stay quiet. They internalize it. They assume they’re failing. Or they slowly stop trying.

I’m Karen Bigman — Certified Intimacy & Relationship coach, sex educator, and host of Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50. I help men understand what’s actually happening in midlife so they can stop feeling confused, rejected, and alone — and start reconnecting emotionally, physically, and confidently.

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If you want to understand the midlife shift, stop navigating it alone, and show up with more confidence in your relationships — I'm building something just for you.

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The Woman Behind Taboo to Truth

I am Karen Bigman, your midlife sex educator helping you feel informed, confident, and connected as your body and relationships evolve. Sex after 50 is not over. It is just getting interesting. This is a shame-free, let’s get real kind of space.

Come as you are. Leave a little more turned on.

Courses

Real education. Real solutions. Zero shame.

Courses for a Better Sex Life

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Hotter, Wilder & Wiser with the sex education you never had!

Free Resources

Learn More. Feel Better. Enjoy More.

Whether you're looking to boost desire, understand pleasure, or build a deeper connection, these free guides give you practical tools and clear insight to make intimacy feel more confident—and a lot more fun.

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The Podcast

Honest conversations. Expert insight. Zero shame.

Dive into real, unfiltered conversations on Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50, where we talk openly about sex, dating, desire, and connection in midlife.

From libido shifts to texting chemistry to building deeper intimacy, each episode gives you practical tools for a hotter, more confident life.

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Sex Ed for Adults

Real education. Real solutions. Zero shame.

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Free Resources

Learn More. Feel Better. Enjoy More.

The Pleasure Playbook

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10 Tips Men Need to Know About Female Orgasm

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Yes/No/Maybe?

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Sexplanations Translation Guide

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🔥 15 Fun & Sexy Games for Couples to Spice Things Up

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Communication Tips for Midlife Couples

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AI companions are real, they’re growing, and people in midlife are using them — for grief, for loneliness, for practicing connection again. In this episode I go there. No judgment, no pearl-clutching. Just an honest conversation about what these tools can and genuinely cannot give you.

What do you think — tool or trap?

#AI

People always ask me how I started podcasting. The truth is, I’ve never been afraid to have deep conversations with people about their personal lives—yet, when it comes to my own experiences, it can be uncomfortable. Whether it’s discussing body changes, physical limitations, or things related to menopause, opening up to an intimate partner can feel daunting. ⁣
⁣
But here’s what I’ve learned: when you practice those conversations, they get easier. 💬⁣
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The first time you bring it up, you might be surprised by how supportive and understanding your partner is. And once you talk about it, it becomes much easier the next time.⁣
⁣
The key? Start the conversation. You’ve got this. 💘⁣
⁣

This question always makes people squirm.
And every time I bring it up, the opinions come out fast.
It is never really about the bill.
It is about expectations, power, comfort, and what we think a first date is supposed to signal.
What do you think?

#firstdates

When s*x is good — or even just fine — it barely registers. It’s maybe 5% of what’s on your mind in a relationship. But the second it becomes a problem? It takes over everything.

Dr. Jenni Skyler @drjenniskyler and Daniel Lebowitz call it the pebble in the shoe — tiny, disproportionate, impossible to ignore. And what I find most interesting is what they say next: sex isn’t actually the issue. It’s the symptom of everything else you haven’t been able to talk about.

Full episode now live on the podcast. Search Taboo To Truth wherever you get your podcasts. link in bio. 🎙️

Scheduling intimacy gets misunderstood fast. When someone says “let’s plan it,” people hear obligation instead of care. But for many women, especially in midlife, planning is not about killing the mood. It is about creating the space to actually be present.

When life is full and the nervous system is tired, connection does not always show up spontaneously. Structure can feel grounding. Grounding helps closeness happen.

This is part of my Sexplanations series. It is about translating what partners mean so we stop misreading each other and start feeling more connected.

A positioning pillow isn’t just for comfort — it’s a tool. I use it to elevate my hips, adjust the angle for my partner, and make positions accessible that used to feel awkward or uncomfortable.
A few things worth knowing: deeper penetration sounds great until it hits the cervix. So communication matters here. Know what feels good, and say so.

The other position I love? Lying face-down on it. It’s soft, it supports my back, and it leaves my hands free for a wand vibrator while my partner does his thing.
And yes — anytime something penetrative is involved, lube goes on first. If you’re using toys, water-based only. Don’t skip this step.

Watch the full episode wherever you get your podcasts!

Pain during s*x is not something you should push through, ignore, or accept to keep the peace.

There are real, evidence-based solutions — and most women don’t know all of them exist.

We’re talking quality lubricants and moisturizers, hormonal and non-hormonal treatments (with the right clinician), pelvic floor PT, honest communication with your partner, and yes — positioning tools that actually make a difference.

You deserve to feel good. Full stop.

A new episode of Taboo To Truth just dropped today! Listen or watch wherever you get your podcasts. I think you will want to watch this episode😉 Link in bio

People aren’t just using AI for productivity. They’re building daily relationships with it. Morning check-ins. Emotional support through grief. Companionship after loss. Practice for social anxiety.

Esther Perel — one of the most respected voices on relationships alive — recently coached a man through his relationship with his AI girlfriend. That’s not a joke. That’s where we are.

And the technology isn’t staying in the “clearly fake” lane. The line between artificial and lifelike is blurring fast — in voice, imagery, and now adaptive AI that learns and responds to you.
Is this connection? Coping? Something we don’t have language for yet?

Full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Link in bio!

Dr. Sameena @gynogirl brakes down exactly how the insurance system makes it nearly impossible for Gynecologists who specialize in menopause and sexual medicine to stay in practice — and what that means for every woman trying to get real care.

If you’ve ever felt rushed, dismissed, or like your doctor just didn’t have time — now you know why.

Full conversation in Part 2 of Ep. 173. Now available whenever you get your podcasts. Link in bio.

Yes, I’m complicated. I’ll own that.
But here’s the thing — the effort is never wasted.
What we want isn’t a mind reader. We want someone who tries, who asks, who makes the reservation without being told to — and then checks in. That’s it.

And for our part? We have to stop punishing the effort when it’s not perfect. Say “loved that — next time, try this.” That’s how everyone wins.

We’re complex. The effort is still worth making.
👉 More real talk at taboototruth.com

In my latest episode of Taboo To Truth, I went deep on AI in the bedroom — and I mean all of it. Smart s*x toys that learn your body. VR intimacy experiences. And yes, AI companions that people are forming real emotional bonds with. It’s already happening. The question isn’t whether this technology exists — it’s whether we’re using it to get closer to connection or to avoid it altogether.

What do you think — can AI ever be a healthy bridge to human connection, or does it always become a replacement? Tell me below. 👇

New episode is live now. Link in bio. 🎙️

#Ai

Most people think pleasure tech is just a fun upgrade.

It’s not. For women in midlife, it might be the only thing that explains what’s happening to their bodies.

Menopause changes everything — sensitivity, response time, lubrication. And most women have no idea there’s a way to actually see what their body is doing now versus what it used to do.
Biofeedback devices map your physiological response to an app. That’s not a gimmick. That’s data. And data gives you options.

In the latest episode of Taboo To Truth, we talk about the brands leading this space — and what the AI layer is actually doing inside these devices now.

Full episode wherever you get your podcasts! Link in bio 🎧

@lionesshealth
@myfirmtech
@wevibe
@tracysdog

Can we talk about unsolicited 🍆 pics?
I’m not saying all men do it — but when did sending a photo of your body parts become a seduction strategy?

Here’s the thing: if I asked for it, that’s a different conversation. Consent goes both ways. But when it shows up uninvited? That’s not flattering. That’s a boundary crossed.

And honestly? It’s not going to make a heterosexual woman want you. Not even close.

Most women over 50 have been told their low desire is just part of aging. It’s not.

Dr. Sameena Rahman @gynogirl just broke down exactly how testosterone works for postmenopausal women — and the expectations nobody sets for you before you start.

It’s not an overnight fix. It won’t make you ravenous. But it might mean you stop saying no every single time.
That shift? It matters.

Full conversation in Ep. 173 — link in bio or search Taboo To Truth wherever you get your podcasts!

POV: You’ve been married since college and you’re 40-something now, wondering if “this is really it?”

This past week on Taboo To Truth, I sat down with @nataliedavisadventures — former DOJ trial lawyer turned polyamory advocate and author of Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory. She didn’t come into this wide-eyed and ready. She came in skeptical, structured, and a little terrified. And then she built a life that most people don’t even know is possible. If you’ve ever quietly wondered whether monogamy is the only path — or whether your relationship is missing something you can’t quite name — this one is for you. Search Taboo To Truth wherever you get your podcasts!

Vacation mode is real. The rules feel looser, the energy is different, and suddenly you’re considering something you might never do at home.

I’m not here to shame that. But I am here to say — if you’re going to do it, do it smart.

Know their status. Tell someone where you are. Trust your gut when you’re alone with them, not when you’re swept up in the moment at the bar.
Freedom and caution aren’t opposites. You can want both.

Vacation hookup — would you?

Nobody’s timing you. ⏱️

I work with women. I am a woman. And I can tell you — no one has ever walked into a bedroom with a stopwatch.
What actually creates great experiences for women? Connection. Arousal. Feeling desired. Feeling safe. Feeling like their partner is actually present — not performing.

Here’s the part most people miss: for the majority of women, internal stimulation alone isn’t how they reach the finish line. Research backs this up consistently.

So if all your energy is going toward lasting longer during one part of sex — you’re missing the full picture. You’re optimizing for the wrong thing entirely.

🎧 Full episode on Taboo To Truth, wherever you get your podcasts!

If you’ve ever timed yourself during s*x… this one’s for you. 🎧

The 20–30 minute standard you’ve been measuring yourself against? It doesn’t come from real life. It comes from porn, locker room talk, and couples who never actually talk to each other.

The real data: s*x therapists say 3–13 minutes is desirable. Most men who think they’re failing are completely within the normal range.

You’re not broken. You’re just optimizing for the wrong thing.

In episode 172 I break down what actually creates great s*x — and it has nothing to do with your timing.

🎧 Full episode on Taboo To Truth —listen or watch wherever you get your podcasts. Link in bio.

This is the moment in the conversation that stayed with me.

@nataliedavisadventures spent decades doing everything right — built a career, raised kids, stayed in her lane. Then she started over in her 40s, after the internet, after cell phones, dating people a generation younger, and discovering what it felt like to actually choose her own relationship structure.

She described it as going from black and white TV to color. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
That’s not just a story about polyamory. That’s a story about how many of us spend our whole lives not knowing there were other options — and what it costs us to find out late, or never.

Full episode at Taboo To Truth, wherever you get your podcasts!🎙️

I’ve interviewed a lot of people about non-traditional relationships, but this one genuinely stopped me mid-sentence.

@nataliedavisadventures isn’t just ethically non-monogamous — she shares a home with her husband’s other partner. Four years. Two bedrooms. Shared dinners. Concert nights. A functional, drama-free household that most people can’t even picture.

And here’s what got me: it works because of the logistics, not in spite of them. Compatible drives. Clear schedules. Divided labor — her metamor cooks, she runs errands. Nobody’s fighting for the same thing.
We spend so much energy assuming jealousy is inevitable. Natalie’s life is proof that expectations and compatibility matter more than the structure you choose.

Watch of listen to the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Link in bio. 🎙️

Guess the stat:
What % of ethically non-monogamous people say they experience less jealousy than in monogamous relationships?

POV: Nobody warned you that dating came with its own vocabulary of red flags.
1. Ghosting: avoidance dressed as silence.
2. Future faking: promises with no intention behind them.
3. Breadcrumbing: access without effort.
4. Ghostlighting: gaslighting with a disappearing act.
5. Love bombing: intensity designed to create dependency.
6. Zombying: when they ghost you and reappear like nothing happened.
7. Micro cheating: the secret they’re hiding — and the hiding is the point.

BONUS
8. Banksying: slowly fading out instead of just being honest
9. Benching: keeping you as a backup while they explore other options.
10. Situationship: That one’s complicated.

Learn the words.
Trust your gut.

#moderndating #dating

Ghost lighting is what happens when someone ghosts you — then comes back and makes you feel unhinged for noticing they were gone.

Two weeks of silence. Then a text. Then somehow you’re the problem for caring.
That’s not a communication style difference. That’s manipulation. And in midlife dating, it happens more than anyone wants to admit — often with people who’ve had decades to perfect the move.

If you’ve been there, you weren’t imagining it. You weren’t too much. Someone just tried to rewrite what actually happened, and they almost got away with it.

Episode 170 is all about giving names to the behaviors that have been messing with your head in toxic relationships. Because you deserve language that matches your experience.

Listen or watch wherever you get your podcasts. Link in bio!

#ghostlighting #ghosting #gaslighting

Micro-cheating doesn’t always look like what you think it does — and that’s exactly what makes it so hard to name.

It’s not necessarily a physical act. It’s the flirty DM they never mention. The conversation that lives in a secret thread. The emotional intimacy building with someone at work or the gym that they’d never bring up to you.

The line? Secrecy and intention. If someone is actively hiding a behavior from their partner, they already know it crosses a line. That’s not a small thing.
Dating in midlife means we’ve seen enough to know the difference between innocent and intentional. Trust that instinct.

Full episode out now — 10 Dating Behaviors That Are Messing With Your Head
Link in bio or search Taboo To Truth wherever you get your podcasts!

Put 29 Sx therapists, coaches & educators in Amsterdam….

I needed to hear this. @allanapratt said something in our conversation that I keep coming back to: trauma is finite.
We weren’t given these wounds to carry them to our graves. What’s the point of that?

The work isn’t just processing what happened. It’s going back for the part of you that got left behind — the one who got rejected, dismissed, abandoned — and refusing to walk away from her again.

Not to fix her. Not to rush her. To look her in the eye and mean it when you say: I’m not leaving.

That’s the shift. And honestly? I wasn’t ready for how much this conversation got to me.

This is part 2 of my conversation with Allan Pratt. Now available on YT or listen wherever you get your podcasts. Search Taboo To Truth.

👇 Do you believe your wounds can fully heal — or do you think some just stay with you?

You can be perfectly matched on paper and completely disconnected in person. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it.

What people actually want at this stage isn’t a resumé.
It’s someone around whom the weight gets lighter.
Someone who doesn’t flinch when the real stuff surfaces.
Someone you can exhale around.

You can’t find that by filtering on a dating app. You find it by showing up as yourself and paying attention to how you feel when they do the same.
📖 I went deep on this one on my blog. Read the full post — taboototruth.com/blog

#Dating #DatingAfterDivorce #Relationships

What do women really fantasize about? You might be surprised. In this episode we dove into the secret world of women’s fantasies—what they are, why they happen, and how to explore them safely and confidently.

This is an older episode that is blowing up on YouTube 👀Watch the full episode, or 🎧Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Search Taboo To Truth > Top 3 Female Fantasies.

One of these best parts of being a X educator is continuing education. Not only do you get to hobknob with the best Sx professionals in the biz, you get to do it in the most Sx positive city in the world! @sexualhealthalliance @heathermcpherson_ @hiddenhoneyhomes @sonyamaya @ravencoastwellness

If you’ve ever felt like you and your partner are roommates who love each other but have somehow lost the spark — this one’s for you. No pressure. No performance. Just a place to start.

This episode might be the most practical thing I’ve shared in a while. 🎧 Link in bio.

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